Her Burning Star
by ironbutterfly25
Summary: The color of her son's eyes actually changed… Their color changed ever so slightly… They were more of bluish gray now than violet-blue. But Tessa wondered if Will noticed how the little boy looked so painfully much like him.
1. Chapter 1

****Her Burning Star****

**Disclaimer: **The Infernal Devices series and its characters purely belong to Cassandra Clare :)

**Summary: **She was supposed to be an infertile warlock so she wasn't expecting that she would be able to experience motherhood. The problem was she had a feeling that she was not carrying the child of her own husband.

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><p><strong>Chapter One:<strong>

Dull gray eyes were looking lifelessly at the contents scattered on the vanity. Soft dark hair was being combed expertly by gentle hands. A few more minutes passed by and Sophie couldn't keep her silence anymore. She could clearly see that there was something wrong with Miss Gray. The young lady had that far off look on her face since the moment she helped her get dressed for breakfast. The maid opened her mouth to ask if Tessa was alright. But she couldn't seem to break the ice. She took a deep breath and went back on her task at hand which was fixing Tessa's hair. She started putting the other girl's dark brown hair up when she noticed an angry reddish mark on the pale skin of the back of Tessa's neck. It looked like a bruise and before Sophie could stop herself, words tumbled out of her mouth.

"Are you hurt, Miss? You have some kind of bruise on the back of your neck…" Sophie wanted to touch the offending mark but of course she resisted since it might hurt Tessa. The sudden question seemed to bring the life in Tessa's eyes. Sophie watched as her once still face becomes animated on the mirror they were both currently looking at.

"A-A… A what?" Sophie noticed the shake in Tessa's voice and this made her worry about her more. Tessa's hand shot up to touch the spot where Sophie had said that the 'bruise' was located. She rubbed the area and pressed on her skin several times. There was a dull ache but Tessa knew it wasn't a bruise. She knew that the 'ache' she was feeling from the mark could have been just her imagination. Yes. Because she was imagining how she managed to get that 'bruise'.

Heat flooded her cheeks and Sophie noticed her turning red like she was embarrassed. Their eyes met on the mirror and Tessa gave her a crooked smile. "Must be a bug bite…" her voice came breathy and short like she was nervous.

"Are you alright, Miss Tessa?" Sophie asked and Tessa turned away from the mirror so they can looked at each other face to face.

"Of course. I… I just have a lot of things to think about. I'm sorry for worrying you, Sophie. I-I guess I can arrange my own hair… Thank you for your assistance as always," Tessa said and Sophie understood that Tessa didn't need her presence in her room anymore. She excused herself politely and told Tessa that she should see her again downstairs in the dining hall for breakfast.

Tessa let go of the breath she was holding the moment Sophie exited the room and slumped down on the vanity. Her left hand was still clutching the back of her neck. Memories of the previous night played in her pretty little head just like a theatrical play.

_She jumped in the high chair she was sitting on when the library doors shut closed with a loud bang. She peeked out of the back of her chair to take a look at the person who just entered the room. She was pretty surprised that someone would still go in the library at this kind of hour but then remembered that she was not the one to talk._

_Her heart almost jumped out of her mouth the moment her eyes caught **his** dark blue ones. She noticed him stop in his tracks the moment he sees her. Her mouth opened to greet him but then he took a step forward and wobbled on his feet. She was immediately at his side to steady him. "Will!" she clutched onto him and struggled a little under his weight. The heavy stench of liquor assaulted her nose and yet she didn't care. It was Will. This was Will. To her horror, William Herondale could have smelled like a dead polluted river but still she wouldn't care._

_"You're drunk," she said and relaxed a little bit when he looked like he could hold his ground with little help. His arm went around her shoulders and he jerked her flushed against his heated body. She gasped and he grinned down at her like a Cheshire cat. His dark eyes which looked like black sparkling gems under the dim lighting of the room looked so alluring, Tessa had to hold her breath in. "So you can tell…" His voice was so low it felt like it had been ages since she had last spoken to him. Well it could really have been ages because it had been quite a while… He was so close and Tessa was starting to feel weak against his body. She then averted her eyes from his before it could be too late._

_"I can tell, Will… And I know you better head to bed," she tried to remove his arm from her shoulders but his grip only tightened. She then realized that his clothes were really wet. How could she not notice it from the time he entered the library? He was soaking wet and was dripping all over the place along with the front of her dressing gown. "Come on… I'll help you to your room," he didn't budge and she had no choice but to look at him. To look into those hypnotizing eyes of his again. "Will…" Tessa didn't notice that she sounded like she was pleading._

_His right hand reached up and brushed some of her hair out of her face. His eyes drunkenly watched the little shadows dancing along her creamy skin. Tessa thought that maybe she could just walk out and leave Will to his own devices. She knew he would be able to manage. She knew that she should just go to her room and rest. She knew that was what she should do but instead she stayed. She stayed to relish into the feeling of his calloused fingers brushing her skin like light feathers. "By the Angel… I miss you so much, Tess… My Tess…" Her heart pounded so hard and so loud against her ribcage, she could feel how much longing and pain he was in because of her engagement to his parabatai._

_"Will… I– " she wanted to tell him that she missed him too but he was already kissing her. His lips melted against hers in a desperate kiss. She tasted the liquor he had drunk on his lips and she wanted to taste more… more of him. It had been so long… Jem's face flashed in her mind and she wanted to pull away. She thought she did try… Or maybe she just wanted to think that she did but she was not able to overpower his strong arms. Her hands clutched onto the drenched material of his shirt… desperately pulling him closer… and closer. His kisses started to become frenzied and his hands started to wander to places he should not be touching… nor she should be letting him touch and yet…_

Tessa bit on her lower lip at the memory. She felt torn between going down in the dining room to join the rest of the inhabitants of the Institute or just stay here in her room. She didn't want to see him… but a part of her wanted to see Will too. The latter won and she soon found herself sitting in front of the dining table with Jem, her kind and loving fiance, smiling handsomely at her side. She almost winced at the pain and guilt she felt in her heart. She questioned herself how she could have done that last night when here was the man who loved her and whom she loved as well. The man she was set to marry in a week. If it was possible to feel more pain and an unmistakable joy at the same time the moment William Herondale settled down on the seat right across from her then that was what she just felt.

Their eyes met and to her horror and surprise, he held her gaze which was very unusual. Will almost always tried to avoid her. Sitting at the far end of the table… not meeting her looks. But he was looking at her now. His eyes looked so intense and she was getting lost in them again just like how she did last night…

_She lay bare beneath him as his ever blue eyes run down the length of her body. Tessa couldn't tell if he was simply admiring or he was committing every inch into memory even in the current drunken state he was in. She couldn't remember how they managed to end up in his room but they did. In the whirlwind of wet kisses and hot touches, they tumbled down on his bed and proceeded to claw on each other's clothes._

_"Tess… Tessa…" her eyes closed automatically as she let herself drown in the beautiful sound of his voice saying her name. Her lips parted in a gasp when he leaned down and placed an open-mouthed kiss just above her collarbone. His body moved above hers and his lips was soon on hers again. She kissed him back deeply. Her hands weaved in his silky black locks. The heat Tessa was feeling was incredible. She wondered if it was really possible to feel this hot... like you're burning. The hand cupping the back of her neck slipped down her chest to the valley between her breasts. Her whole body was on fire. His touches made her mind foggy. He let his hand run along the length of her body for a moment before gently cupping a breast making her arch against him._

_"Will…" His lips had left hers and were already trailing butterfly kisses down her chest. The dull ache she was feeling in between her legs started to intensify when his hot mouth closed over one of her nipples. She moaned and gasped his name out like a prayer. His other hand proceeded to explore lower. She trembled against him when his fingers lightly brushed over that moist and throbbing pearl in between her folds. Her hands pulled on his hair as she squirmed beneath him. She didn't know what exactly he was doing. She didn't even have any idea how the events manage to proceed like that. But she couldn't bring herself to care at that moment because she just wanted him and he was making her feel… so damn good._

_His fingers rubbed her sensitive nub with no real knowledge of what he was doing. He was just doing things based on her reactions. He wanted to make her feel good. He wanted to give her the greatest pleasure he could manage to give her. He was not sure if he was dreaming or hallucinating. But he couldn't care. At least he could have her in this little world of his…_

_Tessa arched her back onto his body and cried out in pure bliss. Her body shook and stilled before falling limply back onto the mattress. Her breath come in short gasps and her eyes couldn't focus on anything even after he removed his hand from her dripping wet core. Will let her rest for a while. She was more beautiful than what he imagined. Her skin was tinged with pink all over and she seemed to be glowing with the thin layer of sweat adorning her body. He was fascinated by the fast rise and fall of her chest and the way her swollen lips curved into an adorable smile as her eyes finally focused on him again. He let her pull him down to her so that they could kiss. Her lips were so soft; he knew he could just live kissing her for the rest of his life. He felt her right leg wrapping around his to pull his hips against hers. He groaned lowly as she ground herself unconsciously against the painful bulge in his pants._

_Tessa slipped a hand in between their slick bodies and shyly fumbled on the front of his pants. She couldn't get it off so Will took the initiative to get rid of the last articles of clothing he had. Her gray eyes drunk in the sight of him. The black Marks coiling all over his pale skin made the hard muscles of his body more defined. If it was possible for her heart to beat faster than how it was already doing then it did. Her hands experimentally touched the hard planes of his chest. Her delicate fingers traced some of the Marks softly just like a whisper and Will could hardly contain himself. Tessa was touching him… It was almost too much for him to bear especially with that pounding he had on his head._

_Tessa flushed when Will suddenly grabbed her and flipped their position in a blink of an eye. She was then staring down at his sparkling blue eyes. His black hair matted on his forehead because of sweat. She leaned in to kiss him shyly. Her breasts were pressed against his heaving hard chest. Her dark hair fell freely around their heads like curtain. They both soon got lost in the kisses and soft touches again. She took a bold move and straddled him. She jumped a little the moment his hot and throbbing arousal pressed up against her naked flesh. Will pulled her closer and Tessa wondered for a moment why even with how intimately close they already were they couldn't seem to get close enough to each other._

_"Tess… I love you. I love you…" he breathed into her and she almost cried knowing how much he meant that. She parted a little from him so they could gaze at each other's eyes._

_"Will… Make love to me please…" She whispered softly and kissed him deeply. He pushed himself upright with her on his lap. He enjoyed the feeling of her smooth skin as his hands run along the curves of her back and waist. He reached down in between them as he stilled her in place for a while. She wrapped her arms around him tightly when she felt him guiding himself into her. For a moment, she felt fear. He seemed like he wouldn't fit in. But the burning in her core said that she needed him inside… no matter what. "W-WILL!" She gasped out and arched against him when he slipped in. She felt like she was being torn in half and yet she welcomed the feeling **because it was Will**. Her nails dug into his shoulders as he gently sheathed himself fully in her smoldering heat. The pain was overwhelming for Tessa while the pleasure was almost maddening for Will. Her legs seemed to lose their strength but he waited patiently until she adjusted to him._

_An eternity could have passed by when she suddenly moved unsurely on top of him making him groan in pleasure. "Tess…" His eyes screwed shut as he couldn't help it but to just sit still and relish in the feeling of her moving against him. He rested his head against her shoulder as Tessa's pained moans turned to cries of pleasure. He soon moved to meet her thrusts. Their eyes locked with each other. Blue clashed with gray._

_"W-Will…" He looked so beautiful it almost hurt to look at him. She couldn't fathom how… how someone so beautiful… so perfect could be **hers**. She cupped his cheek and leaned in to kiss him softly. "I love you…" She said against his lips as her pace quickened and the burning in her lower abdomen increased._

_The strong arm wrapped around her waist contracted and Tessa felt a little dizzy after Will moved and slammed her down against the bed. She couldn't help it but to feel more aroused and excited upon knowing that he would be taking the lead. Her arms and legs wrapped around him, pulling him as close and… as deep as possible as their bodies moved in a dance as old as time…_

Tessa could once again feel the electrifying heat she felt last night when she was with Will. The man was already conversing with his younger sister… or Tessa might as well say that he was arguing with Cecily already. A sad smile etched itself on her lips. She could still remember clearly his kisses and touches. But just like what she hoped for… he couldn't remember a thing. Maybe he did… but just thought it was only a very pleasant dream. She hoped that he wouldn't remember even after he threw another secretive glance at her. She could see the cloud of confusion in his eyes. He seemed to be questioning her but she wouldn't give him any answers.

She decided that this was her burden to bear.

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><p>Thanks for reading and please do review :) I apologize for any errors and will do my best to do better in the next chapters. I actually pledged that I'll just focus on my Jonathan Morgenstern fic but Will has been bugging me since the day I finished reading Clockwork Prince which was... December 9 or 10 XD<p>

Anyway please review and stay tuned for the next chapter~


	2. Chapter 2

**Her Burning Star**

**Disclaimer: **The Infernal Devices series and its characters purely belong to Cassandra Clare :)

**Summary: **She was supposed to be an infertile warlock so she wasn't expecting that she would be able to experience motherhood. The problem was she had a feeling that she was not carrying the child of her own husband.

**Warning: **a little bit of sexual content

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><p><strong>Chapter Two:<strong>

Theresa Gray-Carstairs watched with a happy glint in her eyes as her husband share with their friends in the Institute how their honeymoon in Shanghai went. She couldn't really express how glad she was seeing Jem this cheerful and healthy. The scene before her was radiating with so much happiness she could not almost believe that their nightmares were long gone. She could only just picture this kind of scene in her dreams before. But when they successfully got rid of Mortmain and his cohorts. Everything seemed to be possible. It was just like a new hope was given to each one of them.

"I wanted to go to the Mainland but I guess as our trip had been wonderful, it had also been quite straining for my wife," Tessa felt her heart skip a beat at how lovely it was to hear Jem call her _his wife_. It was real music to her ears. He caught her eyes and smiled at her lovingly. She smiled back at him as he moved his hand to hold her hand in his.

"Oh Jem… I am so happy for the both of you!" Charlotte Branwell said sincerely as she cradled her five month old baby boy in her small arms.

"Thank you, Charlotte," Jem said and Tessa eyed Cecily Herondale as she leaned over little Richard when the baby yawned and stretched out a little in the confines of the bundles of blanket he was in.

"Oh little Richie is waking up…" Cecily cooed and let the baby grab onto her forefinger the moment the baby laid his big brown eyes at her and sought for her hand. Tessa couldn't help it but to feel a warm flutter in her chest at the scene before her. The dark haired girl carefully gathered the baby in her arms and seemed to be very pleased to be the one to hold Richard for a while. Charlotte looked grateful since she had been holding her son for quite a long time and it could be really tiring for her small arms especially with the baby gaining weight in a healthy manner for each passing day.

"You like me don't you, Richard?" Cecily said as the baby puffed out his chubby pink cheeks. He looked like he was in a bad mood and would soon start crying. The almost sixteen year old lady cradling him started to bounce him in her arms and this pleased the boy. His giggles filled the drawing room and Jem got on his feet to play with the baby.

"He truly is a beautiful baby, Charlotte," Jem said as he tickled the baby's tummy earning them more delighted giggles from Richard.

"Thank you, Jem. I'm so proud of him and Henry as well. Speaking of my dear husband, I would like to check up on him… so I leave my Richard in your capable hands for a few minutes," Charlotte said as she straightened her skirts out and started to head for the exit.

"Oh Charlotte, you can leave Richie to us even for a whole day or even a week… We won't let anything happen to our little one," Jem said with a sincere smile on his face. Charlotte paused from opening the door. She turned to him and smiled back.

"I know, Jem… But mothers will always want to keep a close eye on her children I guess," she said before disappearing out of the door.

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><p>Tessa picked up her tea and took a sip from it. Jem seemed to realize something. "I was hoping Will would come down to greet us. Where is that brother of yours, Cecily?" Jem asked and Tessa's fingers stiffened around the handle of her tea cup. She actually felt relief when they arrived in the Institute this morning and Will seemed to be nowhere to be seen. But her husband just managed to bring him up to the front of her mind. Tessa tried to bury whatever happened to her and Will in the very depths of her soul. She knew it was mostly her fault... giving into his drunken desire but she wanted it as well. She could never change that. But she was already married to Jem. She promised to herself that she would never involve herself with Will again. There was no future for the both of them. She had accepted it. She was Jem's not Will's. And this was what she wanted.<p>

"I believe he is in his room… He got back home late last night from hunting a few Shax demons. He's probably tired," Cecily said as she adjusted her secure hold on baby Richard.

"Ah… Tired or not. I better see him," Jem said and went over to where Tessa was sitting. "I'll be back. I'll just go see Will," he said and gave her a kiss on the forehead. Jem left the room leaving Tessa alone with Will's younger sister.

"How is your training, Cecily?" Tessa asked in order to start a conversation.

"I'm progressing quite well, Tessa. Though I really prefer Gideon than Gabriel Lightwood training me… That Gabriel seems like he has a grudge on me… or perhaps on my brother," Cecily replied and went over to the sofa Tessa was sitting on. She settled next to her and Tessa got a good look on Richard after a whole month of being away from the Institute.

"Babies seem to grow so fast… I could still remember when I first held him, he was so small. I was afraid I would drop him," Tessa said. Her eyes showed that she was reliving that day when Richard was born.

"He is consuming more milk these days and he's getting really heavy. Soon enough he'll be running around the Institute and we chase after him," both girls laughed at the imagery they conjured up in their heads. Tessa opened her mouth to speak when the door to the drawing room burst open and William Herondale stepped in the room with the posture of someone who owns the place.

"By the Angel… Will it ever stop raining in London?" He mumbled out loudly as if he was alone. He shrugged off his long coat and looked up, finally noticing the two ladies in the room.

Tessa took a sharp intake of breath at the beautiful sight of him. It was true that even if she spent a whole month away from the Institute… away from Will… She was still not able to escape him when his face invaded her dreams from time to time. Her heart twisted painfully in her chest when his blue eyes seemed to turn bluer as sadness was reflected from them upon seeing her.

"So it's true…" His voice trailed off and he seemed unsure of what to say next. He even seemed doubtful of what he just said. "I… I've heard from Magnus that you will be back today from your trip. How was it, Mrs. Carstairs?" Tessa's lips parted… She sat still for what seemed to be a long moment. Her mouth was gaping at Will like he had said some sick joke. Her hands unconsciously tightened on the fabric of her skirt. She was almost ecstatic whenever Jem called her his wife and yet when Will… when Will was the one saying that she was his parabatai's wife now… She couldn't seem to believe that fact. It didn't sound real to her for some reason.

"Will…" was all she managed to say. She watched as his perfect thick eyebrows seemed to rise in amusement for a while. She felt stupid… sitting speechless before Will.

"You must be tired," he said and walked over to his sister. He snatched Richard from Cecily's arms in a blink of an eye. The younger Herondale gasped in surprise and glared up her brother who was already holding Richard up in the air with his arms fully stretched out.

"Will! You don't just handle babies like that!" Cecily said as she got up on her feet to get the baby from Will. The man just laughed at her shortness.

"Calm yourself dear sister… I bring no harm to this precious little man over here. And besides if only Jem isn't my parabatai and I'm not past eighteen then I can assure you, Richie and I will be parabatai…" Cecily gave him an incredulous look. She couldn't bring herself to picture an adult and a baby being parabatai. She was pretty sure her brother was crazy. Well he had probably been crazy for a long time now.

Tessa seemed to be oblivious of the racket around her as Cecily struggled for her rights to take care of the baby who was laughing as Will throw him in the air. Cecily almost had a heart attack and begged his brother not to do that stunt again because she didn't want to risk Will failing to catch the baby boy. The brown haired girl had a sudden feeling of dizziness. She closed her eyes for a moment trying to block everything out of her senses.

Will noticed her stand up and he didn't fail to see that she seemed out of it when she did so. "Tessa?" His voice held concern in them. He handed Richard back to Cecily.

"Are you alright, Tessa?" Cecily asked and Tessa barely opened her eyes to look at her. She got a hold at the arm of the chair to steady herself but she was shaking a little.

"I… I'm fine… Weird. I feel a bit dizzy," she said like she was dreaming. Will was at her side already. He took hold of her elbow to steady her on her feet.

"It must be the exhaustion," she heard him say. His voice sounded far off. His scent assaulted her nose and she felt herself leaning onto him. Will held her close and steady. He noted that she looked paler than usual. "I'll bring her to her room…" That was the last thing Tessa heard when darkness suddenly engulfed her world.

That night, Tessa dreamed of angels. Angels with beautiful shiny white wings that stretched out widely as they circled the vastness of the clear blue sky. She saw their fair hair and the golden runes running along the planes of their bodies. She saw a star-shaped scar… Then a wailing baby with soft dark locks crowning its head.

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><p>The next morning, Tessa felt better. She joined the others for breakfast. Jem was so worried about her that Tessa almost found him funny for fussing over a little thing. She was also surprised to see Gabriel Lightwood in the dining hall. Everything was going smoothly. They already had a new maid servant now for their dear Sophie Collins was to be wed to Gideon Lightwood. The Clave approved of her Ascension and would soon be one of the Nephilim. Tessa, though she was sincerely happy for her, couldn't help it but to wish for herself to be able to belong to the Nephilim as well.<p>

Tessa couldn't remember what she was discussing with Cecily when she felt nauseated. She scrambled out of her chair, hand cupping over her mouth, and hurried for the sink in the kitchen. Jem was on her trail a second after. Everyone stared at the door Tessa and Jem disappeared to. They couldn't seem to break the silence. "Is Miss Gra– I mean Mrs Carstairs sick?" It was Gabriel who dared to ask.

"It could have been because of their straining trip, Gabriel. I do hope she's not sick. Poor Tessa," Charlotte said and reached over to her son who was being cradled by his father. Will was taking a drink from his glass of water when Henry… when Henry who rarely speaks up about anything besides his little inventions broke his silence.

"Maybe she's expecting! Won't that be wonderful? Don't you agree Lottie?" Henry seemed to be excited by the idea of another life joining their home. His deep brown eyes were sparkling with delight. No one responded to his speculation though… But if Will spluttering water all over his shirt could be considered as a response then at least Henry managed to get a reaction. Sophie gave a look at Will. Her resentment towards Will was long gone after she was able to learn his true nature. The young lady handed him a napkin and Will mumbled a soft 'thank you' to her.

"Maybe it's the food…" Will said softly.

"I don't feel sick… Bridget cooks well that's a fact," Gabriel said as he pushed peas around his plate. Will shot him a look and thought of saying something nasty to Gabriel but was shut up when Jem and Tessa re-emerged from the kitchen. Tessa caught the look on their faces. She flushed. She didn't know what to say. She didn't mean to worry everyone of course. She mumbled a soft apology before saying that she felt tired and would like to resign in her room. Jem escorted her out of the room and Tessa caught Will looking at her. His blue eyes were asking her questions again and she unconsciously placed a hand over her abdomen.

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><p>Later that night, Will saw Tessa sneaking out of the Institute. He saw that Cyril got the carriage ready for her. He didn't like the idea of her going out alone in this time of the night and he couldn't help it but to wonder where she could be going. He stopped the door of the carriage before it closed and jumped inside startling Tessa. He gave her a playful grin.<p>

"Where are you headed, Tess? I don't know if you noticed but this is a very inappropriate time for ladies to wander the streets of London," he saw her lower lip trembled and she seemed to be trying to steady her breathing. He wondered if it was really too hard for her to stand in his presence. He couldn't help it but to wince at the painful tug the thought gave to his heart.

"This is none of your concern, Will… I just have… some matters to attend to…" She avoided his eyes and pushed the door of the carriage open. "I must do this alone, Will. Please… respect that," she said and pushed some of her bangs out of her eyes. Will took hold of the door handle and slammed the door shut, making Tessa gasp at the loud bang or maybe it was her reaction when their fingers accidentally touched in an electrifying way.

"You could have taken Jem with you at least," he said in a tone indicating that he wouldn't be leaving no matter how hard she protested.

"He's asleep… And this is my concern alone…" She said and Will knocked on the roof. He called for Cyril to start driving.

"W-Will!... You… Y-You… You can't come with me!" Tessa said but Will was looking out the window completely ignoring her. Tessa soon gave up her struggle.

Will Herondale managed to hide his surprise when they pulled over in front of the house of Woolsey Scott. He hesitantly got off of the carriage and assisted Tessa down. "You… You're seeing Woolsey?" Will questioned her. Tessa ignored him and went over the front door. She knocked several times before the door was opened by one Magnus Bane.

Magnus' cat-like eyes looked at Tessa expectantly but then his gaze traveled over to Will and he couldn't hide the amusement and surprise on his face upon seeing the man. "I… must say I am very much surprised Tessa dear. Is Jem alright?" Magnus asked. Tessa looked at him with confusion written all over her face.

"He is. Jem is doing fine… But why do you ask, Magnus?" The warlock simply shrugged and made way for them.

"Just wondering why you brought Will with you instead of your husband," Magnus thought that maybe he had said too much but there was no way he could take his words back.

"Jem is asleep and Will's presence here is unwanted. I didn't bring him with me… He stubbornly joined my journey," Tessa said with an edge in her soft voice. Will didn't seem to notice as he walked into Woolsey's house. Magnus led them to the drawing room and quickly asked Tessa for what she needed of him.

"I… I want to know if I…" Tessa's eyes drifted to Will who pretended to be fascinated by the tapestries on the wall. She took a deep breath and Magnus waited patiently for her to continue.

"I want to know if I'm expecting a child…" Her voice was so soft Will was sure he didn't hear her right. Magnus looked confused and doubtful.

"Tessa dear… You know you are a warlock. Warlocks and witches are in– "

"I know!... I know… I know but… There's something… w-wrong with me… I just thought you will be able to know what i-is wrong…" Tessa said her voice shaking as her hand unconsciously rested on her lower abdomen.

Magnus knew that the task presented before him was easy to accomplish but he was almost afraid of knowing the answer himself. He got a spell book in hand and a small vial with a viscous clear liquid inside it. He asked Tessa to drink the content of the vial and then without further delay he chanted out some foreign words that neither Will nor Tessa could understand. A circle of faint flickering light surrounded Tessa and when the incantation ended, the light vanished as well. It seemed like nothing happened. There was silence but suddenly Magnus took a deep breath as he looked at Tessa with wide green cat eyes. He run a hand over his hair and seemed to be sweating.

"Magnus?... What's wrong? Is there something…" Tessa clutched around her abdomen in a protective manner. She didn't have any idea why but she wanted to protect her child even if she was unsure if it did exist or not.

"You're right…" Magnus finally had spoken up. Will was on his feet already. He grabbed Magnus by the collar and looked at him with incredulity in his eyes.

"What do you mean she's right?... What do you mean? It can't be!… S-She is…" There was another moment of silence. "Is it alive?" Tessa's head shot up at Will's question. "Or… w-will it live?" She felt her knees weakened but instead of remaining seated on the chair Magnus had provided for her, she got up and marched up towards Will.

"How could you… How could you t-talk about my child like that?" Tears were stinging her eyes. Will realized his mistake. He turned to Tessa and apologized.

"T-Tessa… I didn't mean… Tess… It's j-just…" Will couldn't explain it. He couldn't believe that it was possible for a warlock and a Shadowhunter to create a new life. It didn't make any sense to him. Tessa looked genuinely hurt. She gathered her skirts and run out of the drawing room. She vaguely registered Woolsey greeting her before she exited the house. Will was soon running after her, calling out her name.

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><p>Thank you for reading and please do review~<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

**Her Burning Star**

**Disclaimer: **The Infernal Devices series and its characters purely belong to Cassandra Clare :)

**Summary: **She was supposed to be an infertile warlock so she wasn't expecting that she would be able to experience motherhood. The problem was she had a feeling that she was not carrying the child of her own husband.

**Warning: **a little bit of sexual content

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Three:<strong>

Tessa had mixed emotions bubbling inside of her being. She had no idea where exactly she was running off to when she left Woolsey Scott's house. She heard Will calling after her but her own loud sobs drowned his voice out. She soon became aware of the dull pain shooting from her legs. She eventually had to stop around a corner to catch her breath. She took huge mouthfuls of air and couldn't help it but to resent how tight her corset had been tied for tonight. She braced herself onto a nearby wall and took a moment to take in her surroundings.

Her tired gray eyes scanned the dark alley way and the flickering lamp post a few feet away from her didn't really give any comfort to the damp surroundings she found herself into. A shiver run down her spine as fear crept in her heart. She couldn't help it but to think that at times like this Mortmain's clockwork army was always lurking in the ugly shadows. She had to remind herself that Mortmain was gone now and she should not be scaring herself with such thoughts.

A strong hand wrapped itself on her left elbow making her jump out of her skin. Her lips parted to release a startled cry but she just heard her scream get muffled by a hand cupping over her mouth. She instinctively struggled but she found a familiar warm body pressing up against her back a second later. She didn't have to turn to see who it was. She had seen him enough times and had dreamed of the feeling of his body against hers many times before that she already got him memorized. But of course he didn't know this. He seemed to fail to notice that she was not struggling and was in fact relaxing in the confines of his arms. Still, he leaned in to whisper carefully on her ear. "It's just me, Tess…"

Tessa felt like she had a ball of rope tightly coiling inside her stomach with each passing second she spent in Will's arms. He released her mouth but didn't release her elbow for his fear that she might run off again. "I'm sorry." Tessa then realized that she didn't really want Will to let her go. But then she knew this had to stop. She couldn't keep falling for him like this. It wasn't right. She already did an awful mistake… giving herself up to another man… She knew she didn't deserve Jem anymore from that very moment but still she didn't know what to do. Will had no recollection of what happened and she promised to herself that Will would never know. She couldn't just leave Jem and broke his heart along with Will's. So just like how she kept Will's love for her a secret… she kept that one passionate night with him a secret as well.

Surely she had no excuse for what she did. It could have been lust and passion that overcame her. But she didn't have to explain herself. There was no explanation for what happened. She wanted it and had decided it was her burden alone to bear. And since then, she vowed that she would devote herself to Jem and him alone. Just like how it should have been from the very start. Will was her first love and he should remain in her past. Jem was her present and her future. And she was having a child with him.

"I'm sorry, Tessa... I… I-I was just… shocked," Will's face was twisted because of the internal struggle happening within him. He would never admit that one of the reasons he couldn't seem to handle the fact that Tessa was pregnant was because he didn't want to accept she was having a child that was not his. That was not _theirs_. He thought that after all this time maybe he would be able to make himself move on. But he was still here… trying to hold desperately onto that thin spider thread he had labeled as Tessa's love for him.

"Unhand me," she said gently… softly and yet Will felt like she had slapped him. He released her hesitantly. Tessa didn't mean anything harsh. She just wanted to distance herself from him, nothing more nothing less. But Will thought she was angry at him… _again_. He wondered if all he would be capable of was hurting her. He surely hated himself for that.

"I'm sorry… Please Tessa… D-Do– " She turned to face him and she regretted doing the said action. She should have known that it was not good for her heart to see him broken like this. She bit her lower lip and quickly looked away from him.

"I… understand…" His eyes searched her face… trying to know more than what she would want him to know about her current feelings. He noticed that she must be feeling cold for she was trembling and without further thought he reached out and held her hands in his. Being able to hold her hands was like recollecting a joyful memory of his childhood. Tessa jumped under his touch and he felt her attempt to withdraw her hands from his but he held on even if it pained him.

"You're cold. You better head back to the Institute," he said and led her back to where they left Cyril with the carriage.

He assisted Tessa into the carriage and he watched her eyes widen when he closed the door right after her. Her lips parted to ask him why he was not coming with them but he gave her one of those smiles of his. The kind of smile he always gave her… That smile who fooled anyone but her. That smile he always used to say that he was just fine. But Tessa knew it was a broken… yet beautiful smile.

"I almost forgot that I have to meet an acquaintance tonight. Cyril will take you safely back home," he said in that energetic tone of his. He took a step back from the carriage. That smile still etched on his face. Under the dim light of the lamp post, Tessa noticed that he aged a little bit or maybe it was the pain he felt inside that was wearing him down. How could someone so broken still look so beautiful she wondered? He tucked his hands deeply in the pockets of his coat.

"Congratulations, Tessa…" he said and signaled Cyril to drive away. Will started walking in the opposite direction the carriage took and he missed Tessa sticking her head out of the window to call out his name. He heard her. Loud and clear. But that didn't stop him from walking away to drown in his misery alone.

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><p>Tessa entered hers and Jem's chambers later that night. She found him lying on his side and a tiny smile came upon her lips. She changed into her night dress and slipped next to him on the bed as quietly as she could. She peeked over his shoulder and leaned down to place a loving kiss on his temple. She then noticed that he was burning with fever. This alerted her and she quickly looked for his medicine in the drawer of his bedside table. She felt Jem stir and soon enough she found herself looking into his silver eyes.<p>

"Jem, you have a fever!" She said in a very worried way and he simply smiled up at her. He reached up and touched her cheek.

"You're cold. Were you out?" He asked but she didn't bother to answer him. She tried to reach for his medicine box but he stopped her.

"Tessa… I'm fine. You worry too much," he said a little bit too weakly for his own liking. Tessa held onto his hand. "It will pass. It's just a fever… Magnus' spell is working fine… I'm probably just a little bit tired. It happens you know that." Jem sat up on the bed and rested his back against the pillows. He then pulled Tessa straight into the comfort of his arms. Her tensed muscles instantly relaxed against his. She closed her eyes and rested her head against the crook of his neck. He threaded his long and thin fingers in her dark tresses, relishing in their softness. His other hand reached up to cup her cheek and to angle her face in a way so that he can kiss her smoothly. Tessa sighed in the kiss as her arms wrap around him. She pushed herself closer to him and drowned herself in his warmth.

"So tell me why you were out…" he murmured against her lips and she couldn't help it but to grin. This made Jem more curious about her little trip outside of the Institute in the middle of the night. He saw how her gray eyes were shining with happiness and life. She took his hand in hers and placed it right above her flat abdomen. His eyes widened and so did her smile. She leaned in to kiss him right on the lips. She delivered the news softly to his ear and then they both seemed to forget that he had a fever.

He was going to be a father. What else could he ask for?

* * *

><p>The inhabitants of the Institute were more than happy to hear the news. Charlotte was ecstatic that she seemed like she was the one who was having a child. Henry couldn't help it but to boast out that his speculation was valid. Tessa didn't miss how Gideon and Sophie share a knowing look with each other. She knew in her heart that it wouldn't be long until a little Lightwood would be running around their humble abode. Cecily was like an excited younger sister. She started suggesting names and was hoping for the baby to be a girl. Someone she could dress up and care for like a sister.<p>

"Then I guess there will be no harm if it will be a handsome boy and you will name him 'William'!" Will had announced too enthusiastically. Tessa was the only one who didn't laugh.

"Please, Will… we can only handle one William. And that one is already too hard to manage." Jem said and Will made a look of mock hurt. Jem patted his back after a few seconds.

"I'll probably think about it," he added with a small thoughtful smile. Cecily made a truly unladylike snort.

"No, Jem, please… I'm afraid something bad is entailed with that name," Will looked at his sister with absolute shock.

"I don't really understand where this hostility is coming from, my dear little Cecy… But if the parents decided his name will be William then it shall be," he gave her a winning smile.

* * *

><p>Days turned to months and soon enough Tessa was showing. Charlotte called for a Silent Brother once a month to check up on Tessa and so far there had all been good news about the development of the child. Tessa knew that there would be a lot of pain during pregnancy but she couldn't seem to find herself complaining much about it. Maybe she was just too happy because of this chance given to her. The chance to become a mother.<p>

Tessa eased the door open to the library. She was having those nights again when she wanted to eat something. And tonight she craved for some chocolate tarts. For someone who said that she hated chocolate, she seemed to be enjoying consuming the sweet goods for every chance she gets. Jem went to bed early again and Tessa couldn't help it but to worry that his illness was getting the best of him. She was afraid that what Magnus did was not enough to heal Jem. But her husband had been doing fine for months now. It was only at night that he seemed to weaken suddenly… but at least he was not coughing up blood anymore… or so she thought.

"Indulging on chocolate again I see…" Tessa stiffened. A tart was occupying her right hand and her mouth was busily and messily chewing on another piece. She scanned the library for Will and saw him stretching out on one of the sofas.

"W-Will!" Her voice came out muffled and she dropped the piece of tart she was holding back onto the plate balanced on her left hand. She went over to him and took a seat on the high chair she was previously occupying in the room before she had left to venture into the kitchen. She already learned how to act not so stiffly around Will especially after she noticed that all his advances on her were friendly, nothing more. He was holding a book in his hand but Tessa didn't bother to check the title for her gaze was caught by his piercing blue eyes.

He scrambled down onto the floor and sat at her feet. She blinked down at him in confusion and she tried to stop herself from flinching away when he placed a gentle hand on top of the bulge on her abdomen. "Is he kicking yet?" She laughed as his hand unsurely skimmed the roundness of her belly. Brother Enoch told them that she was having a baby boy. "What is so funny? Babies do kick even when they're still in their mothers' wombs. I remember Richard kicking on Henry's hand," Will said in a tone that would defeat a whining little child.

"I know… But I think that maybe he's still too small for that," She said and placed a hand on her rounded belly as well.

"That is only what you think," Will said with a smirk on his face. Tessa felt warm all over. Every night before going to bed, Jem would put his ear against her belly with the reason that the baby might talk to him. Tessa said that the baby wouldn't even be able to talk yet even after he was born. Jem said that he was just too excited. Now Will was touching her, feeling the life growing inside of her. Somehow his touch was more electrifying right now than his touches that night. This was different. She felt different.

She watched Will's fascinated face. She noticed how he seemed to be acting like an excited father. Then she felt that tug in her heart. That familiar tug that seemed to tell her something… that seemed to warn her about something. Her free hand unconsciously reached for her clockwork angel ticking steadily against her chest. An uncertain feeling settled at the bottom of her stomach like a heavy rock. She suddenly wanted to push Will away and run out of the room for she blamed him for making her feel in that way.

But something stopped her and made her still in her seat. "Ah!" It was more of a startled gasp than a pained one but Will was alerted because of the look on her face.

"Tess?" There were beads of sweat forming on her forehead that matted her dark brown hair on her skin. She looked into his deep blue eyes. Her hands now both planted on each side of her rounded stomach. She gave him a shaky smile.

"I-I'm fine…" She said but she could already feel her nightgown sticking at her sweating back. Will rubbed her belly gently and intended to pull away right after when he felt a sudden pressure against his hand and Tessa let out a gasp again. She watched as his eyes widened in pure wonder then they were filled with amazement.

"He just kicked!" He said with that same delighted face when he discovered that demon pox did exist. Tessa's mouth had already run dry. She couldn't explain what she was feeling or why she was even feeling that way towards Will's closeness towards her yet to be born son.

"You look in pain, Tess… Does it hurt when he does that?" Will asked in concern and stopped himself from rubbing her belly more.

"N-No… Not r-really… I was just surprised. That was the first time he did it…" She said softly and looked down at her swollen belly. This was the first time she thought about it.

A feather light touch distracted her from her thoughts. She looked up to see Will gazing directly into her eyes. His hand was cupping her cheek gently. Her breath was caught in her throat and she swallowed. "I suggest you head to bed… It's quite late. Staying up late is not good for you," he said and stood up. She remembered that night again when he stumbled into the library dead drunk. She remembered how she told him that he should go to bed. She remembered that he didn't go to bed alone that night… He helped her stand up even if she was still very capable of handling her own weight even if it seemed to have doubled in the past months. Will removed his dressing gown and draped it around her shoulders thinking that she was cold though it was the exact opposite.

His hand moved to touch her belly again and something seemed to snap inside her when her unborn baby kicked against his hand once again. Tears rolled down her cheeks against her will. And broken sobs escaped her mouth. She seemed to be blind and deaf as Will fussed over her; asking her what was wrong or if she was hurting. But she just stood there crying like how she did when she got lost in her hometown back in New York when she was still a little girl. She lost sight of her brother and Aunt Harriet in the crowd at that time and just like that time… She felt incredibly lost.

So lost she didn't know what she should do…

What if the father of the child she was carrying was Will?

* * *

><p>Thanks to everyone who spent their time reading and reviewing. I appreciate all of your reviews.<p>

Also, I understand this all "Team Jem" and "Team Will" going on. But I want to say that even though I preferably like Will more than Jem. Just like most of the people in TID fandom, I don't want him to get hurt or worse, die . This is just a fanfic. It came over to me because I was suffocating with all the pain Will was feeling at the end of Clockwork Prince. And also there was this unbearable sexual tension whenever Will and Tessa got into the scenes. So I couldn't help it but to let them commit a terrible mistake in my own little world. So please bear with me and I hope you guys still enjoy the fic.

I guess there will be no fic that is capable of harming the fandom. After all, Clockwork Princess will be the final judgment for all of us who are shipping different pairings in this fandom ^_^ So let's just read and enjoy.

Thanks for reading and please do leave your reviews for this chapter!


	4. Chapter 4

**Her Burning Star**

**Disclaimer: **The Infernal Devices series and its characters purely belong to Cassandra Clare :)

**Summary: **She was supposed to be an infertile warlock so she wasn't expecting that she would be able to experience motherhood. The problem was she had a feeling that she was not carrying the child of her own husband.

**Warning: **a little bit of sexual content

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Four:<strong>

A sigh of relief escaped William Herondale's lips as he tucked Tessa in bed. He neither knew what to do nor think when she suddenly started crying. Her tears were streaming down her cheeks like rivers and her sobs were so loud and out of control. After he realized that she would not give him any answers on why she was crying, he decided to hold her close until her sobs died out. He was glad she did not push him away. In fact she even settled in his arms and rested her head on his shoulder. He was able to feel every shiver that shook her body and it made him hold her tighter. It didn't take long for her to calm down and fell asleep. He gathered her in his arms carefully and carried her down into the room she shared with her husband.

This led to where he was now; watching Tessa's calm sleeping face. Her full pink lips slightly parted as she breathed steadily. Her closed eyes were rimmed with red from all the crying she did. His left hand moved unconsciously to wipe the remaining traces of tears on her pale skin. For some reason, it was enough for Will. Sure he couldn't be with Tessa the way he really wanted it to be but at least he could be there for her on times like this. And his best friend… No, his brother was happy with her. Will told himself that he could go on like this. At least in this way, he could have them both. Alive and happy for him to see and cherish for the rest of his life.

Tessa shifted a little on the bed, turning her face slightly away from his touch. A gentle smile formed on Will's lips as he brushed his fingers on her soft hair before completely pulling away. He straightened up from his crouched position beside the bed when he noticed that Jem was not on it. He wanted to call out for his parabatai but realized his voice might wake Tessa up. He took quiet steps towards the bathroom door instead. He knocked several times. "Jem?" He called out softly. He heard the unmistakable sound of water splashing. "Jem?" He said a little bit louder this time. For a moment, Will wondered what he was being so careful for. He grabbed onto the doorknob and pushed the door open without further thought.

He saw his blood brother standing in front of the mirror, wiping a clean white cloth over his face. He just stood there and waited for Jem to finish. He saw Jem's silver eyes peeked from the edge of the cloth as they both stared at each other on the mirror placed right above the sink. "Will… I didn't notice you there," Jem's voice was gentle… and soft as always but one could hear the unmistakable familiarity and fondness he had in his voice whenever he talked to Will. The black haired lad raised an elegant eyebrow at his friend.

"I didn't give you a heart attack for appearing in your bathroom all of sudden, did I?" Jem smiled at him before turning to face the man he trusted the most in the whole world. Will could not help it but to notice that Jem was losing weight… again. His brows furrowed without him noticing and the features of his face rearranged to form that worried look Jem was so familiar with. He could even guess what will Will's next words would be. "Are you feeling alright, James?" The smile on Jem's face widened and he chuckled lowly to himself for a while; confusing Will in the process.

"I knew you would ask that," Will took quick steps towards Jem and placed a hand on the man's forehead to feel if he had a fever. Jem pushed his hand away and dropped the cloth he was holding onto the edge of the sink.

"You knew? Then I guess you knew yourself that you don't look fine… That you are feeling sick… Why didn't you tell anyone?" Jem turned away from Will and decided that it will be better if he was facing the wall rather than looking at Will's pained face. "Why didn't you tell me? Jem… We can go to Magnus again…" Will said softly. His tone was desperate and pleading.

"I'm doing fine, Will… I'm doing fine for months. These are little fevers I have during the night. I'm quite alright during the day, aren't I?" Jem tried to sound as convincing as possible. He didn't want to go back to the days where in everyone would still in place that they looked like they stopped breathing when he would throw into coughing fits. He didn't want to worry everyone. He didn't want them to feel hopeless. He didn't want them to feel that all they've been through… that all the efforts they made for him to be cured were useless. He didn't want them to think that they were helpless that they couldn't do anything to prevent an already dying man from meeting his long decided fate.

"I think burning down with fever during the night is not associated with 'I'm doing fine', my dear brother… We must see Magnus tomorrow morning. Surely he can do something, he's the one who managed to – " Will felt his breath catch in his throat and felt like the air had been knocked out of him when his parabatai crumpled down onto the floor and started coughing with such force that he could clearly see the strong shaking of Jem's body as he struggled to tone down his coughs.

This situation had not happened in so long, Will's body was a few seconds late to react. He crouched next to Jem but the man was pushing him away. Will had the urge to haul Jem on his feet and drag him to bed where he can lie and wait comfortably until he was cured. "Hold on, Jem… I'll get your medicine," he said and run for the door but Jem grabbed onto his left leg. Will's heart was pounding and there was a loud painful ringing in his ears as he looked down at Jem or rather at the thick red blood trickling in between the gasps of his hands.

"C-Close t-the… door… I-I… d-don't… Tessa…" The muscles on Will's jaw tightened but he reached out a hand and pushed the door close. Jem's coughing stopped a minute later. He slumped down against the wall next to the door. Will was rooted on his spot like a statue. His dark hair fell over his eyes and casted shadows on his handsome face. Jem took mouthfuls of air to steady his breathing. The front of his white dress shirt was soaked with blood and he was as pale as a ghost.

He watched Jem crawl weakly towards the sink and pulled himself up on shaky legs. Normally, Will would have helped him but his body had run cold. He didn't want to see this anymore. Minutes ago he was just outside this room, thinking about how he could be happy by seeing Tessa and Jem happy. Jem. His Jem. His brother. "For how long, James?" Will didn't see how Jem winced at the sight of Will's face looking so lifeless. Even his voice sounded dead.

"A little while…" It came out breathy much to Jem's displeasure. He wiped the blood off of his chin with his right sleeve shakily. He knew Will wanted to know how long… as in number of days or weeks but Jem hesitated to tell him or maybe he didn't want Will to know at all. The dark haired man looked up. His blue eyes were a shade darker as they looked into Jem's silver ones on the mirror. "A few days before Tessa found out she's carrying our child," Will's eyes widened. His face looked horrified. The thought of Jem suffering for months now made his knees buckle under his weight but he managed to hold himself up. How could he not know of this? He should have felt something was wrong with his parabatai! For some reason, Will felt like he failed Jem… Like he failed himself. In the next second, Will had already turned Jem to him. He was holding onto the other man's shoulders tightly.

"Jem please… You must see Magnus… or the Silent Brothers. They can help you… They can help us." Jem's lips stretched into a weak smile.

"No…" Will's eyes widened as his hold on Jem tightened. "No… N-Not now please, Will… I... Maybe after Tessa gives birth. I don't want her… I don't want her to worry about me right now." He placed a hand on top of Will's and gave him a reassuring smile.

"Wh–What are you saying, Jem? Why wait? Why wait that long?" Will didn't notice he was shaking. "D-Don't you want to be healthy the day your son is born?... What's gotten onto you? I… I-I don't understand." His strong fingers curled into the fabric of Jem's shirt. The silver haired man avoided his gaze. "If you don't want Tessa to worry… I'll do something… anything to keep it in secrecy." Will's voice sounded very determined and firm. His eyes bore into Jem's like hard shining sapphires. Jem knew that his parabatai's eyes were one of the most beautiful things he was able to see in his life. His eyes were not so blue and not so violet as well. So unique. So extraordinary. So beautiful. He had seen that pair of eyes hold probably every emotion a man could feel in his lifetime. And he was grateful that he was one of those people that pair of eyes always looked after.

"Have I ever told you how grateful I am having you as my blood brother, William?" He saw Will's eyes widened a fraction and his mouth gaped at him. The look on his face told him that probably he had never told Will that. But for Will, he actually looked surprised because for some reason Jem sounded so far off and he didn't like the tone he was using. He couldn't even find any warmth on knowing that Jem was grateful for having him as his parabatai.

"What…?"

Jem turned away from him. He pulled his bloodstained shirt off and put on a new one. He then got a knife from the drawer right next to the sink and proceeded to cut his shirt into unrecognizable strips of cloth. He threw the strips inside a dark colored sack then turned back to Will who was standing there like a confused child. Jem went for the door and opened it quietly. The two men looked at Tessa's sleeping form.

"Thank you for taking care of Tessa, brother…" Jem said and Will couldn't help it but to swallow the forming lump in his throat.

* * *

><p>"He told me that you are aware of his current state…" Will had never heard Magnus sound so… sad. He always pictured the warlock to have an optimistic look on everything. "James paid me a visit the moment he and Tessa returned from their trip to Shanghai… He told me that his body was starting to reject the medicine I gave him. And that he was taking yin fen again. I told him that I will try to find another way… another cure but– " Magnus looked up to see the unreadable look on Will's face. His heart ached at the sight of the broken man before him.<p>

"Magnus…" Will grabbed onto his sleeves and looked deeply into his eyes. "Magnus… Maybe you can summon the Greater Demon Yanluo and then… maybe… maybe we can force him to tell us what we can do to save James!" There was a wild look in Will's eyes. He got the look of a desperate mad man. Magnus had already thought about confronting the Greater Demon. In fact, he had already summoned him but Yanluo just laughed and mocked him for helping pathetic and weak Shadowhunters. The demon told him how Magnus was disgracing his father's name by using his gifts for the benefit of the Nephilim.

Magnus was enraged. He thought that he could burn the Greater Demon to inevitable death just like what he did to Marabas but he was not as strong as he thought. Yanluo growled at his attempt and threatened him that the next time Magnus would try to do that stunt again, the Greater Demon would discard the thought of Magnus' father and would set great fire onto him without another thought.

_"Do not mock me, half-breed… You might be **his** spawn but you are still a half-breed." Yanluo hissed at him._

_"As for your Shadowhunter friend… Tell the boy that no matter what he do… No matter what his friends do… No matter what **you** do... Nothing will change… He will die… He will rot…"_

Yanluo disappeared in his own doing and Magnus was left as drained as he never felt before. But looking at Will's desperate face right now, he could feel the pull to summon the Greater Demon again and care less about the consequences. He thought that maybe he was turning mad as well for feeling so obligated to help William Herondale. "Beautiful things are surely to be my downfall," was what he thought.

"You will help me, won't you Magnus?" The warlock couldn't tear his eyes off of Will. His mouth opened to tell the beautiful broken man before him that of course he would help him. But a sudden pain shot into his head making his temples throb and pound. He dropped on his knees clutching onto his head. He heard Will's far off voice asking him what was wrong. But a louder… booming voice rung inside his head drowning Will's voice out.

_"Do not even think about it…"_ The voice was very deep… very low… guttural. It made Magnus' ears ring. The strong voice shook his whole body. "_If you wish to pursue this path for the Nephilim, you will only find death… and you won't find any power by using my name as a threat to get what you desire…"_ Magnus felt like his father was talking to him for an awfully long time but he realized it only happened for a few seconds when he opened his eyes and gazed at the worried look on Will's face. The pain was completely gone and a second later he was back on his feet feeling as strong as he felt since he woke up this early morning. It was like nothing happened inside his head. But Will noticed that he was trembling.

"I… I can't do this for you, William… I-I've tried everything… I'm sorry," Magnus was not even sure if that was really him talking… was saying such dreadful words to Will.

"But…" He turned his back to Will before the man could voice out his protest fully. He was not sure if he could handle talking to Will longer.

"Leave. I can help you no more, Nephilim…" For a moment, he could only hear Will's ragged breathing then there were hurried footsteps. Magnus moved to one of the windows in the drawing room. He saw Will… and it broke his heart to see the lost expression on his face.

He felt his knees weaken and he slid down onto the floor. That was the position he was in when Woolsey Scoot walked into the room. "Magnus?" the warlock shut his eyes tightly close. He didn't want to see anyone right now. He did not expect that he would be able to experience again that exact same pain he felt when the man he thought of as his father tried to drown him when he was a child.

"I… I failed him…" His hands buried themselves in his black tresses.

That day he swore that he would never get himself involved in the personal businesses of Shadowhunters again… For he could not bear the thought of caring for them somuch and have them break his heart once again.

* * *

><p>It was a cold and rainy night. It was not unusual to rain in London that hard. But Magnus already had a bad feeling. He told Woolsey that he was leaving to wander around Asia. He was set to leave the next morning when Tessa Gray-Carstairs appeared in front of Woolsey's doorstep. The werewolf and the warlock stood there with gaping mouths at the sight of the shape shifter; drenched in the rain, shivering with the cold, dark brown hair sticking onto her pale face, night clothes stained with blood, and was heavily pregnant.<p>

"Tessa!" Magnus half carried her inside Woolsey's house. The woman's body felt cold and stiff against his. Her eyes were rimmed with red and it was obvious she was crying. Her teeth were clattering against each other because of the cold. When they settled her inside one of the guestrooms, Magnus was shouting at her.

"What do you think you're doing? What happened? You are heavily pregnant! Y–You… " Magnus heard her speak so softly that he failed to register what exactly she said or maybe he just didn't want to believe the words that escaped her mouth. He caught Woolsey looking down with a sad expression on his face. Of course he heard Tessa loud and clear, a werewolf's hearing abilities were exceptional like that. Magnus felt a heavy rock settle in the pit of his stomach. He felt ice coiling around his heart, freezing it. He staggered back and needed to anchor himself on one of the bedposts as it finally dawned on him. He never knew three words could be so deadly that each word felt like a sharp sword that went through his heart and twist into it as painfully as it could.

"James is dead…"

Only the sound of the rain filled the rest of their night and yet no matter how hard it poured it could never fill the emptiness in their hearts.

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><p>I know! I know! How could I kill Jem? Even if it's just a fic… I cried. And it is my own fic. I guess I would cry on any fic that will have Jem dying. The next chapter will have an elaboration on his death so there would be more pain and more tears. And I'll say that Will will be <strong>more broken<strong> if that is even possible.

Oh yes… About Magnus and his badass daddy… I actually have only two guesses on who his father is:

1.) Lucifer! (Who else right?) At first I thought that his father should be really powerful and threatening that the other demons would cower before Magnus just by saying that "You do not wish to anger my father" something like that ^_~

2.) Yanluo himself… I just thought of this a few days ago. I mean he's a Greater Demon and that is enough for him to be badass/powerful/threatening. And I thought that Magnus would feel more remorse on not being able to help Will/save Jem because he could not go against his own father. The "I failed him" stuff Magnus said about Will made me thought of this. But for the fic, I stick with my Lucifer theory. I just thought it would be cool if he will make an appearance in TMI or TID in this case.

Thanks for reading really and please do review ^_^


	5. Chapter 5

**Her Burning Star**

**Disclaimer: **The Infernal Devices series and its characters purely belong to Cassandra Clare :)

**Summary: **She was supposed to be an infertile warlock so she wasn't expecting that she would be able to experience motherhood. The problem was she had a feeling that she was not carrying the child of her own husband.

**Warning: **a little bit of sexual content

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Five:<strong>

The hard muscles on his arm contracted as Will Herondale reached out for his shirt that was lying on the edge of his bed. He slipped his right arm into the sleeve and was moving to slip his other arm into the shirt when he noticed that little scar on his left shoulder. He moved towards the floor length mirror he had in his room to examine the mark. His fingers moved to brush over the scar lightly. He traced the star-shaped scar carefully. His dark thick brows knotted in confusion and wonder. He didn't know if it was just his imagination but he always felt a tingling sensation whenever he touched the mark. It seemed to be alive. It seemed to mean something more than just an odd shaped scar.

He had not spoken to anyone about the mark since the day he noticed it. He was not even sure of how he got the mark. He couldn't really trust his memories of that day because they were all in the middle of the battle…

_Everything seemed like they were moving in a blur and all he could see was Tessa being dragged away by Mortmain's clockwork creatures. His blue eyes were just trained on her. And the moment their eyes met, he had watched her lips moved to say his name… To call out for him. He didn't think anymore. His body moved on its own accord and he took off like an arrow that had been released from a bow. He heard Jem and Gideon called out his name. He felt his parabatai run after him… No, Jem was running for Tessa… but then something concrete… a pillar… a statue… Will didn't really care collapsed behind him and that blocked the way of their comrades._

_He had thrust himself in a world of dark spiraling stone staircases and winding corridors. He didn't have any idea where the path he was following would lead him. It could open to a cliff or the floors he was standing on might just disappear and let him fall into a never ending abyss. But he didn't care about any trap at that time. All he could hear was the sound of Tessa's struggles. And Tessa was all he cared for at that moment. The seraph blade in his hand illuminated his path and it seemed to glow brighter as he got closer and closer to where Tessa was._

_His heart pounded against his chest even louder when Tessa's cries were abruptly cut off. He willed his legs to move faster and faster. Then he was running up a staircase and another sound become dominant in his ears. The sound of a ticking clock. He caught sight of a door at the top of the staircase and on the next second he burst through it. He was welcomed into a room of huge gears moving in concert with each other. It didn't take long to figure out that he was inside a clock tower. He thought that it was fitting for him to face Mortmain in a place like that. He thought that the huge clock at the center of the spacious room was like a timer for someone's life. But whose life; Mortmain's or his? William Herondale didn't really care because he saw Tessa sprawled on the floor. The dress she was wearing torn, her hair in disarray, and her face was contorted in pain. He quickly saw the red welt on her right temple and concluded that she was hit quite hard in order to knock her unconscious._

_He figured Mortmain didn't want Tessa to pull tricks on him again. The man didn't want to give Tessa a chance to change into someone else's body that might give her an advantage and a possible ability to escape his clutches. Will run towards her limp body but a number of automatons blocked his way. All he could remember then was him almost blindly cutting through the automatons without any sign that there was an end to their numbers. He endured every injury the machines inflicted on him. His eyes were already beginning to blur because of the exhaustion he was feeling. But he knew he shouldn't stop. He couldn't just stop._

_He remembered the small sound of a whirring noise. Then at the distance he saw Tessa's clockwork angel cutting through the other automatons. Will struggled to fight his way through. He fixed his eyes on the angel trying to find hope and strength from its presence as he prayed on Raziel for his body not to give away. There was then a sudden stab of pain at his lower back and he didn't want to move his eyes just to see the tip of a mechanical sword protruding from his abdomen. The automaton withdrew its weapon and Will almost failed to register the grotesque sound of his own flesh being ripped by cold metal._

_He felt his knees weaken and the rest of the world seemed to slip away. Darkness was creeping at the edges of his vision but he didn't want to close his eyes… Not when he finally managed to catch a glimpse of Tessa's unruly chocolate colored hair. The pain was overwhelming and the heavy pull of the void seemed so strong he knew he didn't have anything left to fight it._

_His eyes closed and he expected cold darkness to wrap around his exhausted body. But instead he found himself bathed in a comforting warmth that seeped into his skin down to his very bones. The moment Will opened his oceanic blue eyes; cool yellow radiance flooded his vision. His ears strained to the sound of a flutter of wings. Will thought his knees would have given away at the sight of an angel before him if only he wasn't already kneeling. He knew the angel before him was not Raziel. For a second, he thought he was already dead and this happened to every Nephilim who passed on. An angel meeting and guiding them to the afterlife. He couldn't tear his eyes off of the cold… and yet warm golden eyes of the angel. The angel just looked at him with a beautiful impassive face but then he reached out… and touched Will's shoulder. The dark haired man was sure he could have just imagined all of it. The touch was as light as a feather and it was gone a nanosecond later… But it left a tingling and welcomed sensation on his shoulder._

_His eyes fluttered closed again and when he opened them, he was back in the battlefield with renewed strength running in his veins._

Will snapped out of his memories and run his fingers over the star-shaped scar on his shoulder one more time before resuming on his task of getting dressed for the day. Surely he could care less about his little scar, he knew himself that he got a lot more other things to worry about.

* * *

><p>He was walking down a corridor when he noticed two figures standing by a window not too far from he was at the moment. His next steps brought him closer to them and it didn't take long for him to recognize that it was Jem and Tessa. He immediately stopped in his tracks upon seeing the big smiles on their faces. He watched as Tessa played with Richard who was in Jem's arms at that time. He saw pure adoration in her gray eyes and suddenly he felt like he was about to intrude in a very private moment. His brain was thinking of other ways on how he can go down in the dining hall without interrupting the couple on his way. But then his eyes couldn't seem to leave the beautiful sight of them.<p>

He watched Jem looking happy and actually glowing under the soft light of the early morning sun's rays. Looking at him right now made what happened the night before in his room vanish into the depths of his mind. Will wanted to convince himself that maybe… maybe… maybe it was just all a bad dream and Jem was actually doing fine. But he could still feel the rough texture of the sack containing the strips of his parabatai's bloodstained shirt which Jem asked him to throw away. Silver eyes caught his gaze and Will felt like he was a deer caught under the headlights.

"It's a beautiful morning don't you agree, William?" Jem asked and Will quickly schooled his expression to that of a joyful one as he walked towards them. Tessa looked up to see him and he could tell by the sudden tension set on her shoulders that she didn't really want to be in his presence.

"It is a beautiful morning indeed especially if little Richard here has already decided not to be grumpy," Will loomed over the little child in Jem's arms and made a funny face. Richard looked up at him innocently before he broke out into a fit of giggles.

"It's really amazing how much Richie likes you," Jem commented and Will straightened up to a proud pose.

"You know it is hard for me to be unlikable. I must say everyone likes me…" Will trailed off when he saw Church, Jem's precious cat, strolling passed them. He made a face upon remembering how many times the cat had bitten and scratched him. "Well maybe except for that despicable cat of yours…" Jem craned his neck to see Church and the cat looked at him for a moment and gave him a small purr of recognition. The silver haired man chuckled and shook his head.

"Church only adores me because I saved him from that hellhole and if I remember it right… You were quite unhappy that I took him with me so that is probably the reason why he dislikes you," Jem turned to Tessa for he noticed that she had gone awfully quiet during his conversation with Will. He adjusted his hold on Richard who was sucking on his thumb in an adorable way. He reached out a hand to touch Tessa's cheek and the woman jumped under his sudden touch.

"You look a little pale, dear. Are you alright?" He asked; concern clearly etched in his tone. Tessa flushed and gave him a reassuring smile.

"I'm quite fine, Jem…" Her voice sounded so small and so soft that the two men before her seemed to be not convinced that she was feeling well enough. "Umm… I think we should come down for breakfast. The others might already be there," she quickly added. Jem looked thoughtful for a moment before he moved to hand Richard to Will.

"If you say so then… I'll just get something from our room," Tessa failed to see but Will saw immediately the tiny beads of sweat on Jem's face and the man seemed to be struggling a little bit. "I will just take a moment," Jem said before he walked down the hallway leaving his wife alone with Will.

Deep blue eyes stared worriedly after the silver haired man. But he knew he shouldn't follow him. He wanted to respect Jem's wish. The man didn't want his wife to worry especially in the sensitive state she was in. Will turned his attention to the warm child in his arms and he couldn't help it but to be amazed by how much a small child could brighten up anything. He smiled and pressed a small kiss on top of Richard's brown locks. "Will…" He was snapped out of the almost comfortable silence they were in when Tessa called out his name softly. He quickly turned to her. She was now sitting on the window sill and he watched as her delicate hands caressed the bulge on her abdomen.

"Yes?" He saw her stiffen and he would never know that Tessa was remembering that time in the library when they agreed to address each other by their first names. That time when she said his name just for the sake of saying it and just to test how good it would feel for her to say his name. She hesitantly brought her face up to gaze at him. The sun's rays coming through the window had basked Will under a kind of light that made him look like an angel…with striking blue eyes. Suddenly it was hard to breathe steadily for Tessa.

"I… I… I-I just want… I just want to thank you for bringing me to my room last night…" She turned away from him. "It must be because of my pregnancy… I… I don't really know why I cried… The tears just came." Will wanted to say that he understands but she did give him a fright last night.

"Did you tell Jem that his son is kicking already? I believe he will be ecstatic to know," Tessa looked up at Will again to see a heartwarming grin on his face. His eyes were shining like sparkling blue gems under the sunlight. Tessa opened her mouth to speak when Richard whimpered in Will's arms. Their attention was quickly drawn to the child. Will bounced him in his arms and Tessa reached up to coo at him. "It will be great if your son and Richard will be good friends…" Tessa couldn't help it but to smile at this. The thought of having such wonderful people for her son to meet once he was born made her feel all warm inside. Will took a seat next to her on the window sill and Tessa could feel his warmth radiating off of him. She was torn between staying and moving away. She believed that it would always be like this. She would always feel torn up inside whenever she was with Will.

"James William Carstairs…" Will said out of the blue and it took quite a long while before Tessa understood what he meant. His eyes bore into hers and her heart skipped several beats because of the look he was giving her. It sounded wonderful to her ears but before she could react her son reacted first, the baby inside her moved ever so slightly and showed his approval… or disapproval of the name by kicking. "It sounds good, isn't it?" Will said with the most beautiful smile she had ever seen on him. A heartfelt laughter escaped her lips and it seemed to infect Richard as well for the boy started to laugh too. After a few seconds, Tessa regained her composure and Will was making a hurt face at her.

"I-I'm sorry… The name… It… I-It's perfect, Will," her eyes shone brightly and she wished that time would passed by quicker so that they could all settle on that moment wherein she would deliver her son into this world. They saw Jem walking towards them with a smile on his face. Tessa watched as Will got up and went over to his parabatai; his body was shaking with excitement. Tessa heard the joy in his voice as Will told Jem his suggestion of name for their baby.

James William Carstairs

Tessa wanted to repeat the name over and over in her head. She didn't know why she liked the name so much when the said name didn't occur to her in any way before. She saw the two most important people in her life laughed a few feet away from her. Her legs twitched as she felt the urge to get up and join them. But her mind conjured up another name… And it seemed to whisper into her soul.

James William _Herondale_

This time she didn't know how it could still sound so perfect and admittedly she didn't want to know how.

* * *

><p>One more month. Just one more month. Tessa knew giving birth was not an easy task. She knew that it was very complex and she knew that her life was at stake during the process. But she couldn't seem to feel the fear… the nervousness… All she could feel was excitement and pure joy. The long wait would soon be over. She saw a fine strike of lightning cut through the dark night sky and she shivered as the loud roar of thunder shook the Institute. She then heard the unmistakable sound of hurried voices coming outside the room. She figured that the men have returned from their hunt. She got up from the cushioned chair she was sitting on and struggled a little under the weight she was carrying. She reached for the doorknob and opened the door.<p>

"I will call for Brother Enoch!" It was Charlotte and Tessa knew that calling for the Silent Brothers meant that someone was in need of medical attention. Fear ever so slowly crept into her heart.

Then there was an ear splitting cry that made Tessa's feet moved.

"James! James!" It was Will… and he was crying out his parabatai's name over and over. "Get Magnus!" Everyone seemed to be shouting. But all Tessa could hear was Will's cries. She saw Sophie first… standing at the edge of a small crowd. Her face was ashen white making the scar at the one side of her face stood out. Her hands were cupped over her mouth and she was shaking. Her deep brown eyes were glassy with unshed tears. A huge figure moved to envelop Sophie in a tight embrace. It was Gideon Lightwood. He turned her body away from whatever scene that was making Sophie look like that.

"Y-You… You don't have to see this… Please look away, Sophie…" the woman trembled in his arms and Gideon tightened his hold around her. His green eyes caught sight of Tessa and he seemed to freeze on the spot upon seeing her. His face drained of any color and he seemed to be torn between letting go of his fiancé and coming towards Tessa. Gray eyes met another pair of luminous green eyes.

Gabriel Lightwood was resting his back on the wall. His Shadowhunter gear was torn and there were deep cuts on his face. Tessa's eyes quickly saw the spreading red stain on the shoulder part of his shirt. A black blob of hair blocked her vision and she realized that it was Cecily who had crouched before Gabriel and was tearing his shirt off to tend on the huge claw marks he got on his left shoulder. Blood and pus were oozing out of his wounds and Tessa figured out that Gabriel was poisoned. She watched as he pushed Cecily's small caring hands away. "H-Help James…" he weakly rasped out.

Tessa quickly turned away from them. She needed to see her husband. She needed to see him. She needed to see him **now**. But the moment she turned, Henry was in front of her. His face was contorted in pain and sadness. She saw his lips moved to speak to her but she could hardly hear him. His eyes softened when he cupped her cheeks and then she noticed his hands came away wet. She realized that moment she was crying. "Tessa dear… Please return to your room… We're doing everything we can… We– "

"James! H-Hold onto me! Hold on!" Tessa pushed pass Henry with all the strength she could muster when she heard Will cry out again.

She didn't know why she saw the blood first rather than the body of her husband. Maybe because the blood was just everywhere. Staining everything. Staining everything she held dear to her. Staining everything she loved. Her hand moved unconsciously not to hold onto her clockwork angel like she always did… but to grasp that round jade pendant Jem gave her when he proposed to her. She found herself holding onto Jem's body next, holding him close to her. She held him in a way someone would hold another who was feeling cold. Jem's body felt so cold against hers. She wanted to warm him up… To offer everything she could give him. Everything he wanted. Everything he needed. Everything.

A heavy hand settled on the back of her neck. His hand was so cold. His touch somehow felt unfamiliar but she knew by heart that it was him. She knew because she loved the feeling of those long calloused violinist fingers of his. His fingers struggled to weave into her thick dark hair. And she felt a shudder run all over his body as he struggled to breathe.

"T-Tessa… Tessa… Is that you?"

She opened her mouth to answer him but no words escaped her lips. Only broken sobs erupted from her as she held onto him tighter. She could feel his warm thick blood soak the front of her nightdress. She pressed herself tighter onto him with the thought that maybe if she held onto him hard enough he would stay… He would live…

His body convulsed under her then his hold on her hair tightened. She picked her head up a little so she could see his face. His silver eyes were looking at her but she got a feeling that he couldn't really see her for his eyes were unfocused. His lips were bloodstained but she didn't care. She kissed him deeply trying to breathe life into him. "Don't leave me…" She wanted to say but all her mouth could emit was strangled cries. "Please… Don't… Don't leave_ us_..." When she parted from him, he had a sincere smile on his pale handsome face. His lips moved slightly and she thought that she was just imagining things.

"Wo ai ni…"

Jem's other hand shook as he sought for hers. He kissed each of her fingertips and for every kiss he seemed to grow weaker and weaker. She figured that he couldn't speak anymore so he settled on kissing her fingertips to convey whatever he wanted to say to her. Five bloodstained kisses. Five words. His last. Blood pounded in her ears making her head throb. She felt numb all over when suddenly Jem… her Jem seemed to be so far away from her even if he was just lying there. His eyes were now closed and she wondered why he wasn't convulsing anymore. The hand that was holding hers didn't just feel cold... It was lifeless as well. She felt hands around her shoulders and they tried to pull her off of him. She held on… She knew she was saying his name but she couldn't seem to hear her own voice.

"Tessa please…" It was Henry. He got his arms around her and she could feel him shaking behind her. She could feel him grit his teeth as tears cascaded down his dirt stained face.

"J-James?..."

Her ears strained to hear Will's voice. Her body stopped struggling from Henry's hold but her tears continued to fall. Through the tears that were blurring her vision, she could see Will.

He was leaning over Jem's still body with a lost look on his face. Tessa couldn't see the strong man she knew from those lost dark blue eyes. All she could see was a lost little boy. Will never looked so helpless and vulnerable before. Never.

"James…" He shook his blood brother a little. Tessa then saw the parabatai rune placed on the inside of Will's right arm oozed with blood.

His parabatai rune was _bleeding_…

She heard Will called out Jem's name again and again. And for every scream of his, her heart become more torn apart. She felt like some kind of invisible hand twisted her heart painfully and ripped it out of her mercilessly. Tessa felt her world was spinning. She saw Brother Enoch walked pass them. Gideon struggled to get Will off of Jem's body. Tessa watched as Will thrashed around as the Silent Brother took Jem away. Gideon had a very hard time to hold him down. Cecily launched herself onto her older brother and held him close. Will stopped struggling then. All his movements stilled for a moment. His knees then buckled beneath him and Cecily held him tight against her small frame. She stroked his unruly black hair that was so much like her own as she tried her best to soothe him.

"Hush… my b-brother…" She whispered softly and weakly to him as tears steadily flow down her cheeks. Her throat tightened as she tried her best to tone down her own sobs. She wanted to be strong... strong enough for her brother to hold onto. Will's face was scrunched up as he cried endless rivers of tears. The older Herondale held onto his younger sister tightly as he cried in her hair. Cecily was not just crying because of Jem. She was crying for their lost sister, Ella, as well. She knew that Jem's death brought a lot more pain than one could handle. His death reminded Will that day their sister died and it brought him more pain and emptiness. She felt her brother's strong body trembled against hers and his soft mumbling of his parabatai's name was like a nightmarish lullaby.

"James… James… James…"

Henry was ready the moment Tessa lost her consciousness in his arms.

* * *

><p>When Tessa woke up sometime during the night… she felt like she was walking in a dream because everything felt unreal to her. Even when she walked out of the Institute barefooted. Even when the rain hit her cold skin brutally. Even when she somehow managed to bring herself in front of Woolsey Scott's house.<p>

"What happened?"

Magnus' booming voice snapped something in her. She croaked something out and the moment she saw the look of pure horror and sadness on the warlock's face, she realized she was not dreaming.

Everything was real.

James was dead.

* * *

><p>Tessa didn't come back to the Institute and Magnus didn't persuade her to go back. The Institute was once her home because there was Jem. But Jem was no longer residing in the Institute. It was no longer her home.<p>

Jem's remains were burned and buried in the City of Bones. Magnus brought her to the funeral but Tessa begged him to keep them hidden from the eyes of others. She felt so hollow inside that she believed that she would just feel emptier if the others comfort her. She didn't want to break anymore. She needed this last ounce of strength she had for the child growing inside of her. Her gray eyes watched from the far off distance as the steady flames consumed his fragile body. The flames were steady… just like him.

She saw Will and he still looked like a different man to her. He had lost all the brightness he once had. What she was seeing that day was just the beautiful empty shell of William Herondale. Tessa somehow felt like the Will she loved died along with her husband. He looked so immaculate and so vulnerable in white. His younger sister was holding onto his hand tightly. It was like she was the only one who was anchoring him to the world of the living. She was the only one keeping him from following Jem.

Will brought his head up slowly and Tessa felt her frozen heart beat again when his eyes locked with hers. But how could that be possible? She should be invisible to everyone's eyes. She stole a glance at the tall warlock at her side. Magnus seemed to be oblivious that Will was looking at their way. She looked back at Will and saw that even if everything else about him looked lifeless, his cobalt blue eyes still held a spark in them. They still held a tiny spark that seemed to be capable of igniting a flame in her heart. But she belonged to Jem and Jem was gone now.

For Tessa, that meant that the only thread connecting her to Will was gone too.

* * *

><p>"So what do you plan to do now, Tessa?" Magnus asked her on their way back to Woolsey's house. His cat-like eyes watched her closely as her hands swept over her swollen belly gently. He could tell that she was due soon.<p>

"I want you to train me as a warlock…"

* * *

><p>Sorry it took me a week to update. I find it really hard to write death scenes. But I can say that the next chapters won't be that hard to write. I think there's just two or three more chapters left for this little fic of mine. Tessa's baby will finally make his appearance in the next chapter so please do stay tuned.<p>

I also apologize for any grammatical errors in my stories. English is not my first language and I do try to improve over time so please bear with me ^_^

Again, thank you to everyone who spent time reading and reviewing. I hope you will continue to do so. Thank you!


	6. Chapter 6

**Her Burning Star**

**Disclaimer: **The Infernal Devices series and its characters purely belong to Cassandra Clare :)

**Summary: **She was supposed to be an infertile warlock so she wasn't expecting that she would be able to experience motherhood. The problem was she had a feeling that she was not carrying the child of her own husband.

**Warning: **a little bit of sexual content

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Six:<strong>

"We can always go back to London…" Tessa's hand stopped from running over the nicely dyed and woven sari. She averted her eyes from the strong colors of the piece of clothing in her hand and looked up to acknowledge Magnus' presence in the small room. Her gray eyes that still possessed so much grief and sadness in them clashed with the warlock's observing ones. "You know they are worried for you… Especially right now… Tessa, I can always create a portal and you can go back," Magnus sounded tired. After all this time, he went along with whatever the female before him had asked. He didn't want to depress her more and wanted to be supportive of her decisions but he also knew well that her heart would always yearn for the life she had in the London Institute.

"I'm doing fine, Magnus…" Tessa looked back down the newly purchased sari in her hands and proceeded to trace the intricate designs with her delicate fingers. "I… I like the weather here… It… It's warm… not cold at all… not always raining…" She was obviously reminiscing the rainy days in London.

"They asked Ragnor Fell to find your location… He knows where we are but I asked him not to tell Charlotte _yet_… But I did tell him that you are doing well," Magnus settled on the couch and ran his eyes over the heavily pregnant woman next to him. "I actually don't mind your company. I must say that I do enjoy having you around… But you could have told them… Charlotte at least that… you are… leaving for a while."

No response reached the warlock's ears and he could not help it but to release a sigh. He had agreed that he will supervise Tessa's education in learning warlock's magic and that she should start learning after she recovered from giving birth to her son. Magnus was secretly hoping that the lady would change her mind after she had given birth. He hoped that Tessa would suddenly experience a very strong wave of longing and would decide to return to the Institute… where her family was waiting for her. He was her friend and he truly treasured her. But he was sure that he could not give what Tessa needed… and that was the love of a family.

"Do you want to go back to London, Magnus?" They were staying in Indonesia for just a week now and honestly Magnus had not been in his birthplace for so long he was pretty sure he didn't want to go anywhere else yet. He didn't want to go back to London. He didn't want to see _his_ face again. That beautiful broken face filled with so much emptiness and sorrow…

"No…" Magnus felt a constricting feeling in his throat and realized that his chest was tightening as well. He had failed Will… not just Will… Tessa as well. That was why he was so keen on helping the young woman right now. He got himself so deep in the relationships of these people that he might as well saw it through until they breathed their last breaths… which wouldn't be that long from now he knew. They would all eventually go… and follow Jem. Tessa would stay though. Just like Camille Belcourt and Ragnor Fell, she would be one of the remaining constants in his life.

A harsh and sudden gush of rainwater hit the roof of their little home and Magnus looked up, studying the ceiling… hoping that there wouldn't be any leakages. He took a quick glance at Tessa. "See?… It rains here a lot as well," he saw the faintest of smiles curved along her lips.

"But at least you can see the radiant sun and a rainbow after it rained… in London… there would always be clouds blocking the sunshine." At that moment, Magnus figured that Tessa would take an awfully long time to heal… or maybe she would never recover.

* * *

><p>"God damn it!" Magnus Bane cursed. His green-gold colored eyes with cat-like pupils glared at the scattered remains of glass that was once a goblet on the table. Magnus watched as the clear water spread and dampened the mantle that was covering the table. The fire crackled at the fireplace and Magnus stared at it for a long moment when another piercing cry cut through the silence in the drawing room he was in. His shoulders stiffened and a shudder ran down his spine.<p>

"J-James!"

He cringed at the sound of Tessa's pained cry. His eyes locked on the spell book lying just a few inches from him on the table. His right hand twitched to reach for it so that he could open up a portal for Charlotte… Sophie… or Cecily to come through. Tessa needed someone else besides the stranger of a witch/midwife inside the room where in she was currently in labor. He curled his right hand into a tight fist to stop himself. Tessa would have asked him if she wanted to… He should not do anything that would upset her. He decided to go back on what he was previously doing and that was changing the color of the water in his goblet but then he realized that he accidentally shattered the goblet with his power when Tessa's cries startled him.

He stood up with the thought of getting another glass but then his feet carried him directly in front of the room where Tessa was going through the painful labor of giving birth. He took a deep breath before pushing the door open. He had never witnessed a labor before. It was not like he had any reasons to be in the room of any woman going through the process. He had live for a very long time and now he couldn't believe that there were still things he didn't know. That he still had the chance of having "first experiences" though he noted in his mind that _this_ would never go to his favorite experience list.

Tessa looked like she would pass out at any moment. Her gray eyes looked dull, tired, and unfocused. Her nightdress clung onto her body because of the buckets of sweat she had been excreting for the past hours. Her dark chocolate brown hair was a great tangled mess. The young woman's gray eyes locked on Magnus who was standing at the door and he thought that maybe it was a mistake on his part to have come in the room. But her eyes suddenly looked pleading that the next thing he knew, he was holding onto her hand and she was gripping it so tight he feared his blood circulation would be cut off…. Or maybe his hand would be capable of falling off as well. He thought that the spell books in his possession should contain a _damn spell_ that would aid him if ever he found himself in a situation as such.

Blood pounded in his ears and he watched Tessa like how someone would watch an astounding opera performance. He was just looking at her with his mouth agape and hands sweaty because of nervousness. She looked so fragile that for every cry that escaped her colorless lips he felt like she would inevitably break. He took a glance at the witch he had asked to help Tessa through her labor. He had known her from his younger days. That woman looked normal… at first glance. He thought she was just a fake witch but then he figured she just looked normal at a distance… but on closer inspection, one would quickly notice the scaly… snake-like skin she possessed. The scaly green and black patches of skin she had only travelled up to her upper chest but her face was that of an innocent mundane.

Magnus opened his mouth to speak. He wanted to ask if the woman… considering she had lived longer than him would somehow know a spell that would make child birth easier for Tessa. But then he thought better of interrupting the labor… and besides if the witch did have that kind of spell, she had already used it that was for sure. His legs were already growing numb after some time but he couldn't bring himself to pull away or to find a better position when Tessa's hand suddenly grew limp in his.

A sudden jolt of panic rushed through the warlock as his eyes searched Tessa's exhausted face for any sign of life. She was breathing alright… Magnus closed his eyes for a moment in relief when his ears registered a loud wailing. He was sure that his usually steadily beating heart missed a beat at the sound of the new voice in the room. He licked his overly dry lips as he craned his neck to look at the midwife who was now holding a struggling healthy baby boy in her hands. He watched as the woman's lips stretched into a delighted grin. "Such a beautiful child…" she hissed the words out like how a snake would. If he wasn't a warlock and if he hadn't known the woman for so long, he would have snatched the child from her hold. She looked up at him. Her deep brown eyes looked almost black under the soft glow the lamps provided in the room.

"He's one of the Nephilim," she said as Magnus folded Tessa's hands carefully on top of her now flat abdomen. He pushed some of her sweat-soaked hair out of her pale face before walking to the woman's location. "I thought he will be a warlock child… It never happened before… But one could hope," Magnus understood the witch's feelings. Immortals like them had all the time in the world but they were also deprived of so many wonderful things in life. The woman turned her back to him and then proceeded to clean the newborn. Magnus kept a close eye on her every move.

When the baby was finally handed to him, he felt fear and hesitation. He was able to hold a child before… He had cradled Richard Branwell once or twice but for some reason, he was afraid of taking hold of this precious child before him. The baby was still wailing. Its small pinkish face scrunched up with the effort he was exerting on his first fit. "Steady your hands, Magnus Bane!" he instantly tightened his hold around the baby in his arms… He put the right amount of pressure… not to let go and not to crush… just to hold.

"You surely are a loud one," he whispered to the warm bundle in his arms and then a huge grin etched itself on his face. He wondered if it was wrong that he suddenly felt like he was a newly-made father.

* * *

><p>For the first time in Magnus' life… time felt like it stopped or it was going delightfully slow. He was sitting contentedly on a stool in front of the wooden crib lined with soft cushions he had whisked into the room magically an hour or two ago. He watched the small steady breathing of the baby inside the crib and couldn't help himself but to be amazed. He thought that he could stay just like that watching the baby as he made small almost unnoticeable noises or maybe as he moved a limb in an experimental way ever so slightly. Magnus almost wanted to laugh at himself for finding such small… simple things so amazing. He was even amused by the little movement of the baby's thin layer of dark hair.<p>

The baby then moved his head to the side where Magnus was faced and he opened his eyes. That moment, the warlock knew time really had stopped. The air was caught in his throat and even if he couldn't see his face, he knew he had gone pale. The baby blinked unseeingly at his surroundings. It would take weeks for him to register any color. Magnus swallowed the lump in his throat and went over the crib. He fished the baby out of it and held him closely and gently. The baby moved his hands over his face whether to scratch himself or what… But the warlock was pretty sure that all of the baby's movements were randomly made. He was more concerned with the color of the baby's eyes. Could it have been a trick of the light? Was it too dim in the room he wondered? The baby's eyes were not so violet and not so blue… The kind of shade he used to love... The kind of shade he still loved… The _shade of blue_ he had hoped not to see again. It was almost the same shade as of that of the man he had failed and loved, possessed.

"William…"

"J-James…"

There was a rustle of blankets from the bed a few feet behind him. He knew it was Tessa finally waking up from her slumber. He knew he should be rushing to her side but he was currently pinned to place because of her son's mesmerizing violet-blue eyes. "My baby…" she croaked out softly. Magnus' feet moved and then he was there on the very same spot he was when she was in labor, the only difference was she didn't need his hand anymore… She needed what was in his hands.

"You're not telling me something, Tessa." Magnus said carefully as he handed the newly born child to his waiting mother. "James...M-My baby..." Her voice was weak but her gray eyes sparkled with delight despite the exhaustion and Magnus decided that the questions can wait. He watched as joyful tears flowed steadily down Tessa's pale cheeks. She held her baby close to her chest and warmth swelled in Magnus' body as the baby snuggled instinctively in his mother's protective embrace.

"Your father would have been very proud… H-He was w-waiting for you… F-For so long… He was waiting…" Loud sobs erupted from Tessa that made her body shake. Magnus held his head low and closed his eyes as the wound that Jem's death left in them reopened brutally like a knife was dug into it to make it deeper.

* * *

><p>"You are almost there, Richard… Just a little bit more… Come here… Come here…" Cecily Herondale rushed forward when the eighteen month old little boy wobbled on his unsteady but strong legs. The young lady caught him and laughed a little as Richard puffed his cheeks out. The boy seemed to be displeased that he was not able to accomplish his task.<p>

"Can I hold him?" a voice belonging to a female rung inside the drawing room. The dark haired girl turned her head to see Jessamine Lovelace standing at the doorway with a small smile on her pretty little face. Cecily was still trying to get to know the woman who had just returned to live in the Institute two months ago. She didn't know much about her but she watched how much the woman cried loudly over Charlotte's cold body. The Branwells were killed almost a month ago during a fight with a Greater Demon.

"Much obliged, Jessamine…" Cecily gave her a sweet smile and gave Richard to the woman. She watched closely as Jessamine struggled a little under Richard's weight. The boy's big brown eyes stared at the woman holding him in pure wonder.

"Hello, Richard… Such a handsome young man you are," Jessamine cooed gently but Richard scrunched his face up and struggled in her arms. The golden haired woman just laughed a little at that. "He doesn't like me," she said and placed the boy on his feet which seemed to satisfy him. He held onto her skirts as he tested his feet on the carpeted floor. The two ladies watched as Richard made his way back to Cecily's arms in a few unsteady steps. Jessamine's blue eyes then scanned the room curiously.

"Are you looking for my brother?" They looked at each other for a long moment before Jessamine nodded hesitantly. Cecily noticed that her older brother had been spending a huge amount of time with Jessamine… Training her, reading books with her in the library, and teaching her complex things about Shadowhunting. She had learned that Jessamine once didn't want to be a Shadowhunter at all. But like what her brother told Cecily, the lady had changed greatly. "I'm not exactly sure where he is right now… But I will recommend that you check if he is in the library." Jessamine gave her a smile before leaving without another word.

* * *

><p>William Herondale put down the violin he was holding the moment the door to Jem's room cracked open. "How did you find me?" He asked the beautiful lady at the door with an amused smile on his face.<p>

"I followed the god awful sound you were making," Jessamine walked into the room and noticed Jem's Persian cat sitting on top of the trunk at the foot of Jem's bed.

"It did sound awful… I can't figure out how Jem could play this instrument," Will placed the violin in its case carefully as if he was handling a newly born child. "Is it time for me to supervise your training?" His ever so deep blue eyes took in the fact that she was not dressed in her training attire. "You are not dressed for training…" He stated the obvious as he opened the trunk and placed the violin case in it.

"I found out this morning that I am in need of new dresses and I figured that maybe you can accompany me to have some new ones made." Church licked his paws in a bored way before he jumped onto the bed of his deceased master. The cat settled comfortably on top of it and proceeded to doze off.

Will seemed to be in deep thought for a moment. But he knew that it would be better for him to go out than stay confined within the cold walls of the Institute that was now under his care. Their home… He couldn't help it but to notice seemed to grow more lifeless with each passing day. He couldn't do anything about that no matter how hard he thought for a remedy… The inhabitants of the Institute had suffered so much loss in a short span of time and the emptiness in their hearts was being reflected to their home. "I guess I have no other choice then… It wouldn't be wise to turn down a lady… especially a lady like you," Jessamine didn't fail to notice that Will sounded off. Actually the first time she talked to him… No matter how good he still was on making smart remarks, she saw that he was a broken man inside. They were all broken… Only time could heal them partly… Time could make their mind forget the loss and the pain but it could never mend their hearts.

When Jessamine stepped out of the Institute with William at her side, she proudly held out the parasol Henry immediately made for her when she returned to the Institute. She thought that she had lost enough of her family, it was time for her to hold the ones left as close to her as possible.

* * *

><p>"No more… You should be sleeping!" Tessa watched with a big smile on her face as Magnus reprimanded her stubborn son like how a father would. The warlock got the almost one year old baby balanced in his right arm while he held his left hand a few inches away from the boy's face. James jutted his lower lip out in his attempt to look pitiful. His perfectly lined brows furrowed together. "This is the last time you hear me?... Then it is bed time for you, little one," blue sparks erupted from the warlock's fingers and little James struggled to reach for and catch the flying sparks. His little hands caught one and he peeked in between the gaps of his tightly pressed palms to look at the glowing tiny blue spark he had captured. Giggles bubbled up from the small child and he opened his hands and let the spark go. He clapped his hands to praise his own achievement before looking at Magnus with pleading eyes. Tessa shook her head at the look of conflicting emotions on the warlock's face.<p>

"Time for bed, baby," Tessa interrupted before her little son could torture Magnus more. She gathered James in her arms and was glad when the boy clung to her without any resistance. "You spoil him too much," she said to Magnus before heading to her bedroom.

"What can I do? You know that the combination of black hair and blue eyes is my weakness," Tessa stopped dead in her tracks as her hold tightened around her child. Magnus knew he said a little too much but the words just spilled out of his mouth. The next minute felt so painfully long for the both of them.

"I guess it's mine as well…" Tessa said softly with a small sad smile on her lips.

Tessa watched her peacefully sleeping baby boy. When she first laid eyes on his crystal blue eyes, she cried rivers of tears. She was right all this time. That feeling she had when she was still carrying James inside of her. He was not Jem's at all. He was William Herondale's child all along. She felt a familiar constricting feeling inside her chest. During the first months after she gave birth to James, she couldn't help it but to think that maybe Jem died before she had given birth because the child was not his. She thought that she didn't deserve to be happy with him at all that was why God took him a lot earlier than they wanted. Tessa betrayed him… She had betrayed him even if he had no knowledge of it. She didn't deserve him from the very moment she reciprocated Will's feelings. So she didn't deserve happiness with him…

Tessa was set to go to New York the next day. She was glad that Magnus decided to come with her. He said that he better leave her on her own seeing that she had become an exceptional warlock under his supervision. But he honestly confessed that he wanted to watch James grow up some more. The woman couldn't be more grateful of him. She was happy that the warlock had always been by her side for all this time. She had learned from him about Charlotte and Henry's deaths. She wanted to go back to the Institute right then and there and Magnus was more than willing to accompany her but then she suddenly felt so afraid on going back.

She decided that it would not do any good to anyone if she returned.

* * *

><p>"Look for her," Will's head snapped up at Jessamine. Her twinkling blue eyes looked like they were blazing under the light of the setting sun. "Man up, William Herondale… She will not magically appear before you no matter how much time you waste on sulking." Her red painted lips were stretched into a challenging smile. "You must bring her back… This is her home… We are her family," Will couldn't explain the warmth that surged in his chest when she said 'we'.<p>

He turned his eyes back at the image of the setting sun. The wind blew at them harshly but for some reason the feeling was welcomed. He remembered the time he spent with Tessa here at the rooftop. He wanted to spend another time with her in this same exact place. It was cowardly of him to have simply let her leave when his parabatai passed on. He knew they shouldn't have let her slip away and now they didn't know where to look for her.

He remembered how many sleepless nights Charlotte spent contacting various Downworlders just to get information on Tessa's whereabouts. But then one day, Magnus Bane sent them a fire message saying that Tessa wanted to live alone for a while. The warlock said that she needed time and that maybe it would be wise for them to respect her decisions. But Will had grown tired of waiting. He couldn't sleep thinking about how lonely Tessa might be feeling and that there was no one to take care of her… and her baby… Hers and Jem's baby. Will reminded himself. He wondered how hard it would be for him to face Tessa again… But then all he wanted was to see her again.

* * *

><p>Tessa didn't know what to think or feel when she walked back to that humble house she was staying in with her son just to see a tall broad shouldered man wearing a long black coat throwing her almost four year old son into the air. She figured it must be Magnus visiting them. The warlock dropped by her place twice or thrice a week just to check up on the mother and son. But then Tessa thought that Magnus was never broad shouldered and he never wore simple enough clothes. She felt her legs moving faster. Her heartbeats increased in pace. Her palms started to sweat. She was getting closer and closer. So close she could hear her son's delighted chuckles.<p>

It was suddenly too hard to breathe that she had to slow down her steps. Her gloved hands moved to clasp together in front of her. She thought that it couldn't be happening. That the man couldn't be really there. The nanny Tessa hired to help her in caring for James saw her standing with a horrified face a few feet away from them.

"I'm your Uncle Will," her ears prickled at the sound of his voice. James laughed at the man innocently.

"Will!" James repeated the man's name and then William Herondale's heartfelt laughter sounded so beautiful that Tessa felt like it was too beautiful… and too real to be true. Her son's eyes caught her standing awkwardly there. She watched as his eyes shone so beautifully under the fair light of the early afternoon's sun. His eyes actually changed… Their color changed ever so slightly… They were more of bluish gray now. But Tessa wondered if Will noticed how the little boy looked so painfully much like him.

"Mama!" James cried out as he reached out his hands for her over Will's strong shoulders.

Four years since she last saw him... Tessa felt like it should have been a lot longer than that. Her breath was caught in her throat when he finally turned around to see her still pretty young heart-shaped face. For a moment, she drowned herself in the beautiful sight of the father and son... But then she couldn't see in Will's face that he recognized the resemblance.

The face of a beautiful stranger stared at her… A genuine smile etched on his handsome face. Tessa remembered the first time she met Will. How she thought that he owned the most beautiful face a man could possess. But that Will was gone. He was older now. Still infectiously gorgeous. But older.

"Tess," his voice sounded so low… so velvety with that British accent… so beautiful that something in Tessa cracked. Her gray eyes watched him carefully as he settled James back on his own feet. The boy somehow ran to his nanny instead of her. But Tessa was grateful for that… Because she was given the chance to hurl herself into the arms of the man before her.

Will caught her effortlessly as if that kind of scenario happened to him every single day. He took her in his arms as if he was created for the sole purpose of holding her. He held her closely and took in her scent and warmth. Tessa cried on his shoulder like how a lost little girl would. God, how much she missed him… how much she longed for him and yet she was so stubborn to return to the Institute.

"Let's go home, Tess… Please…" He kissed her silky brown locks softly. "Let's go home… Come home with me," Tessa choked on her own sobs and she couldn't do anything but hold onto him tighter.

Minutes later, she found the strength to look up at his handsome face. The tears blurred her vision but her image of him looked as clear as a newly polished mirror. She took in the straight bridge of his perfect nose, his elegant eyebrows, and his long and thick eyelashes that framed his blue eyes… Those beautiful blue eyes that seemed to put the color of the ocean in shame. Her gloved hands felt nonexistent when she brushed them over his high cheekbones for his warmth seemed to seep through the material without any restraint.

"You have no idea how much of my sweat and blood I devoted on finding you…" She watched the perfect swoop of his lips move as he spoke. "You and James must come home with me… I will not take 'no' for an answer, my dear Tess," Will said with that same bright and playful grin Tessa loved plastered on his face.

Tessa smiled up at him with all the love she held for him for all those years. She was so happy seeing him… so… so very happy. She couldn't seem to think straight. All she could see was Will. And all she could think about was Will. She boldly reached up to kiss him but before she could do so… he had already disentangled himself from her. She suddenly felt like she was a fish out of water… She felt like she was suffocating and only Will could make her breathe but he moved away from her.

"Will…" Just the sound of his name coming from her own lips had the capability of making her head feel light. She wanted to see him for so long… To say his name… To hold him… Everything... but he was distancing himself from her. Why?

Tessa's happiness froze up and it her surroundings felt like winter to her. How foolish of her to think that Will still loved her in that way he used to before. How careless of her to think that he loved her still. How cruel of her to think that he would let himself to finally love her without any restraint just because James Carstairs was dead for four years already.

"Tess?" Will was holding her hands in his while she looked up at him with a horror-stricken face. He actually looked confused.

* * *

><p>It was only later that night when Will so thoughtlessly left the door to his room open while he was changing that Tessa saw why Will was not inclined to kiss her whatsoever.<p>

There on his chest… Just right above his beating heart that Tessa wanted to own so much was a rune. A rune she wished for the past four years for William Herondale to never possess.

The rune of love and commitment.

* * *

><p>Are you guys disappointed or what? Tell me XD<p>

This fanfic is purposely made because of the dozens of theories revolving around the TID characters I have in my head. The theories bugged me to no end. And Clockwork Princess is still… sadly… unfortunately… too far away . I won't feel bad if any of my theories are wrong because when I started writing this story a few new theories popped up in my head especially when Cassie so kindly shared that Emma (the main female protagonist) in "The Dark Artifices" is a Carstairs. I thought that I could easily make the baby Tessa was carrying Jem's… But I feel like it would be best for me to stick with the plan that the baby was William's. This fic originally have so much Will x Tessa. But I want to stick with a more realistic but sadder plot.

I don't know maybe I'm a masochist because even if I can have Tessa and Will be together in my own story… I still refuse to have them together and it pains me. But I truly believe that even if Jem dies or not… Will and Tessa will never be together. I don't have any faith for the scenario that Jem will give them his blessing… That is just TOO easy and TOO shallow… and I bet it will just kill Will and Tessa more. That kind of scene will just make Tessa and Will die more of guilt. Even if Jem dies or he gets cured, the man… no matter how much I love William more, he deserves Tessa's love… even in death.

*takes a deep breath* I hope the story is still as interesting to you guys as it is to me. I know it is really kind of sad. There will be more revelations in the next chapter. I cannot say if that will be the concluding chapter yet. Also in my author's notes in the next chapter, I will reveal possibly all my theories about TID. I just want to see if anyone agrees with me.

Again, thank you so much for everyone who read my story. Please continue reading and reviewing. I'm really desperate for reviews because I like to know what the readers think of the story. Thank you!


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